I remember the dread, and secret hope I harbored on Valentine’s Day back in middle school and high school. There was always a carnation sale outside the lunch room and popular girls walking around with their abundance of flowers. I was a scrawny, quiet girl, with pale skin and freckles, but still there was that fantasy that someone could find me worthy of a flower. I can still connect with that feeling of not being good enough, not being seen, not being “pretty” – not ever getting a flower.
Today I am clear that there is only one person who can make me feel worthy, and that person is me. That experience from my teenage years was only reflecting back to me the lack of confidence and self worth I had for myself. In retrospect I am ever so thankful for that part of my history and for the fact that my experience of love came later in my life. I now see it as a gift that I was spared those early heart breaks and the drama that often accompanies young love.
If you are seeing the reflection of “not good enough” or “invisible” in the way others treat you — use that mirror to look at how you treat yourself and what you believe about yourself. Do you compare yourself to others? Do you criticize yourself? If so, then you are actually creating the very reflection you see in the world around you. It’s your choice. Regardless of what anyone has told you — you can value and appreciate all that you do have; your gifts, your character, your spirit or you can judge and belittle yourself. You can listen to your intuition and make your dreams important or you can ignore yourself and tuck your dreams away. Whichever choice you make about yourself is what you will see manifested in the words and actions of those around you.
One thing I know for certain is that every one of us is here for a reason, and it takes the very different, special attributes of each to create the world that is waiting to be created. I’d like to say “take your time” but the sooner your realize what you have to offer, and step into that truth, the sooner we can get this party started!
You are Important.
Happy Valentine’s Day!